Thursday, March 26, 2015

Down But NOT Out!

Where have I been? That question has been asked a lot lately because I took a big step back from a lot of things: quilting, technology, my friends and family. I am a pretty private person and over the years the friends I've chosen to keep close know how important that is to me. I do want to share something that is not often discussed: my battle with depression.

I do my best to keep it at bay most of the time because I have learned lots of coping skills since the age of 12. (My father passed away that year and needless to say my life was never the same.) The recent passing of a loved one took me to that dark place and I struggled to get back to the light. The one thing I have a hard time remembering when I travel down that rabbit hole is that I need to stop isolating myself from the world. I do tend to hide my sadness because I don't want others to see my weakness. I also prefer being alone when I'm not in a happy place because I think it might bring others down with me.

The reality is that my friends and family are always the ones who bring me back out of my depressed state and I need to ask for help more. When you haven't seen me for a while or notice that I've withdrawn from activities, remind me that I need to get out of my own head. I need to get out of the house, spend time with family/friends, get crafty and sew/quilt again. It's the little things that bring me back to reality and remind me that my life is quite wonderful.

My blog was started as a place to share the sewing and quilty things I like working on each week but I needed to share this with you. There is a catharsis in releasing this "secret" with the world and I want to be held accountable for my inaction.

I finally feel like sewing again and being creative so I'll post images and notes soon. Thank you to those who have put up with me over the last few weeks and for those of you who have reached out to check on me.

16 different shot cottons and
1 landscape fabric I think looked like
wood grain.

I finished this mini quilt last week for someone and it brought back that fire in my belly to get creative and make more art. I'm not religious but there was something soothing in the creative process of designing it and quilting it that I can't explain in words. I used 18 different color threads and put love into each line as I stitched. (I'll post a tutorial on how I designed it and put it together as soon as I am able.)

I plan to fan those flames and get to work on some projects I've put off. (First, I have to clean out my craft room a bit since it looks like a Tasmanian devil came through it recently.)

Thank you for reading this!

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